Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Not enough data points

I should have mentioned this as part of the weekend report, but part of the reason for going on on Saturday was that it was the last free day this holiday season until the 21st. In between rehearsals, performances, a trip to Arizona, parties, plays, and dinners we're booked solid. Last night we had the Christmas Piano Recital. My two oldest played. In addition my wife and her brother played a couple of duets as well, that I thought sounded quite good. As usual I regret the fact that I didn't pursue my own piano education with more vigor, and toyed with the idea, as I so often do, of "getting back into it" as it were.

I was mulling over this particular regret and a staggering number of other regrets I have on the way into work this morning. And it occured to me that I need more data points. My study of my own life, what works, and what doesn't; what makes me happy, or what makes me sad; what I'm talented at, and what I'm not; consists of a single subject, a ridiculously small sample size, by any standard. And I was led to imagine how it would be if I had a thousand lifetimes of data to sift through. Surely then I could figure things out, surely then I could optimize my life.

This is not to say that I don't like my life. I have a wife who is far better than I deserve, awesome kids, a job that I don't hate, which pays reasonably well, good friends, etc. etc. I just dislike the omnipresent feeling of flying blind.

Islands, waters, azure, verdure, one glimpse and vanished, endlessly, omit.

3 Comments:

Anonymous john said...

You forgot to mention your awesome brother-in-law in your list of good things ... yes, the one from whom you stole the potato wedge ...

7:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"omnipresent feeling of flying blind"

Now there's life summed up in a nutshell. You get one shot, no practice, no warm-up, no do-overs. Go!

I also have music-related things as a gigantic void ... and I don't really regret it. That music teacher in the 6th grade wasn't completely wrong in kicking me out of class for bad behavior but she did in a fashion that scarred me for life. I never went back.

But tech is on my side! The Music Genome Project (http://pandora.com/) crosses data-crunching, the Internet and music in such a way that it is about as hard as tuning in the radio.

Yeah, more data-points would be good. But having enough interest in other things to regret not being able to cram them into your existence says good things. Much better than shutting down anything not on your scope. I'm back in the music!


... so, what exactly is a potato wedge?

3:24 AM  
Anonymous sti said...

If it makes you feel any better, you made all the most important decisions in your life long ago. Now all that is left to do is to see how it all plays out. Similar to an ICBM that has burned all its fuel and "gone ballistic," there is really very little to control from now on.

4:07 PM  

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